When Baby Won't Wait: A Story of an Unassisted Home Birth. 

I loved being pregnant! The glow, thick hair, curvy body and the excitement of growing a tiny human in my womb. Hearing the first heartbeat, feeling the first flutters, tracking the size of our baby week-by-week, and the anticipation of seeing her sweet face for the first time were all very exciting. 

We had considered many options about where to birth our baby.  Ultimately, we decided a home birth would be the best option for us. I was low risk, relaxed in my home environment, had a competent birthing team including a midwife with over 30 years of experience, and was comforted by the fact that women had successfully birthed in their homes for thousands of years.  I also knew I was only minutes away from a hospital in the unlikely event of a medical emergency.

 "The birth pool and nursery set up at 37 weeks."

Leading up to my daughter’s birth, I was convinced she would arrive early despite being a first time mom. I was surprised and antsy when I passed the 41 week mark.  I started to wonder if she would ever come out on her own? Nine days past my due date, I surrendered and let go of the idea that "today is the day.” That night I took a long bath with my favorite essential oils and came to terms with the fact that she would arrive in perfect timing on her own terms. It was the first of many times parenting would allow me the opportunity to practice patience and letting go of things out of my control. 

The timeline of events that followed on November 12th, 2015 were also out of my control.

 5:30 am: The next morning, I woke up to the sensation of damp sheets. Either my thighs were sweating or my water had broken!! Sure enough, my water had finally broken. It was more of a trickle than a gush of water but it was unmistakable.

 Aside from my water breaking, I didn't feel any differently, no contractions, no cramping, and no pain. It felt like a normal day with the exception of being completely overjoyed with the first sign that was labor was finally on its way!

6:00 am: I notified my midwife and birth photographer to let them know finally, today is the day! Then, I went back to sleep to conserve my energy for the inevitable birth. 

10:00 am: I woke up to my sweet husband making me breakfast. He was also eager with excitement and anticipation. Still...no other signs of labor with the exception of very mild cramping that felt like the Braxton Hicks contractions I had felt for the last 6 weeks. For me, the Braxton Hicks contractions felt like very, very mild menstrual cramps. This morning, this sensation felt no different than the sensations I had felt for the previous 6 weeks. 

I continued with the day as usual. I felt so good I wanted to attend an essential oil training I was scheduled to host that night with 600 guests! Thankfully, my husband talked me out of attending. I would have given birth on the stage! Instead, he kept me entertained by playing 6 rounds of Yahtzee with me that evening. 

6:00 pm:  my midwife came to check on me despite the fact that I wasn't having any contractions aside from what felt like an occasional mild menstrual cramp. Based on what I was reporting and her decades of experience she shared with me that it was unlikely I would have a baby that night…. Noooooo!! I would have to wait another day! She recommended I get some rest and call her when contractions where 5 minutes apart. 

7:00 pm: I took a nap for an hour and woke up to urinate. At this time, I noticed the cramps now felt like moderate to strong menstrual cramps and they were coming with regularity. They were the kind of cramps where you decide today is a stretchy pants kind of day. I started to time them and noticed they were approximately 5 minutes apart. An hour later at 8:00pm I notified my midwife. As she prepared to return to my home she asked me to update her again when they were 3 minutes apart.

8:15 pm: I felt like I needed to have the biggest bowel movement of my life. I sat on the toilet and prepared to clear my bowels. This is when I would say I started to feel like I was having contractions. They started to intensify and get closer together. We notified our midwife and she was on her way. 

8:30 pm: I asked my husband Adam to fill our birth pool. As I stood up from the toilet I noticed something between my legs. It was a head! The baby was already crowning. I ended up on all fours in front of the toilet and Adam, in disbelief, confirmed it was in fact a head. At this point our midwife was on speaker phone as she was driving to our home. She only lived 15 minutes away and we knew she would be there any minute. 

8:45 pm: Although I tired, I could not keep the baby in until the midwife arrived. While on all fours, I instinctually gave two pushes. One for her head and one more for her shoulders. Adam barely had enough time to reach his arm in the narrow bathroom doorway and catch his daughter with one hand. 

 8:48 pm: Adam made sure our baby's airway was clear and then placed her on my back until he could help me roll over and get towels to keep us warm. 

Within minutes after delivery  I was on my back on the bathroom floor, covered in cozy towels and snuggling with my baby girl on my chest. It was love at first site. Only 15 minutes after calling our midwife, she arrived to find the three of us snuggled and smiling on the bathroom floor. She was there to help deliver the placenta, assist with postpartum care, ensure mom and baby were doing well medically and move us all to the much more comfortable bed. It was an incredible, instinctual,  and empowering experience. 

What advice can I give you if you find yourself in a similar situation? 

Our midwife provided us with an "emergency birth instructions" sheet that we were to read and keep on our fridge. Although we read it when when I was 36 weeks there was NO time to re-read it during the birth. The main thing I remembered from the sheet was, don't be afraid! If the baby comes quickly everything is probably ok, keep mom and baby warm, and don't cut the cord. 

While pregnant, I also reminded myself that the human species has survived for millennia. Birth is a normal part of life and birthing in hospitals is relatively new in comparison to the existence of human beings. Woman weren't always coached through the process or "taught" how to birth. Women knew instinctually what to do and so will you! Read books that will return you to your birthing roots including, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Spiritual Midwifery.

 I was in such a relaxed state in my home which likely facilitated such a quick and peaceful birth. I was surrounded by a familiar environment and only the people I know, love, and trust. There weren't any bright lights, unfamiliar sounds, or unfamiliar people to trigger fear or tension. 

 I also took a birthing class called hypno-birthing that focused on staying relaxed during the birth process. I remember the instructor teaching us that even if a woman is in a coma her uterus will still push out a baby without conscious thought. Just relax and breathe through the process. 

After giving birth to your baby girl on the bathroom floor and your husband catching her with one hand you feel like you can conquer the world! 

What advice does dad have for you?

The best advice I can give is to relax. Babies have been delivered naturally at home for thousands of years before we invented this recent medical exigency, and it is so impactful and beneficial to just stay at peace with the process. I was initially against the home birth idea until I did the research and met with several midwifes who shared their experiences with me. My worst case brain finally realized that most birth complications requiring intervention can be predicted with some accuracy long before the birth, and I decided to let it go and just be at peace with whatever was going to happen. We were prepared for pretty much anything, which totally took the anxiety and helplessness out of the equation. 

 I don't regret it for a second. Even if given some foresight, I would still do it exactly the same way. Catching my daughter in my own hand ( I could only fit one arm between Rigel and the doorway) and hearing her take her first breath is something I'll never forget, and a bond few parents get to experience amongst the hospital lights and hustle. It was absolutely stress-free, and allowed us to focus on the experience and the new little human in our lives. I'm positive both mom and baby are healthier and stronger for having done it at home without drugs or needless interventions, and I couldn't be happier. 

Would you like to see more?  Watch: The Peaceful Home Birth of Novalee.

Thank you Michelle Garey for the beautiful birth photography and video.  You can check out more of her work HERE. 

You can download this free eBook that includes 100 Uses for Essential Oils.